Monday, August 21, 2006

Oh the novelty!

I just thought I'd post a quick piece on just how callow it is to blog from the (dis)comfort of ones bed. I say discomfort because I had no idea just how difficult it would be to rest a laptop on yourself without getting the base of it anywhere near your genitals, while at the same time leaving the duvet completely smoothed over so that the creases don't compact and lovingly brutalise your thighs.

Saying this though, I do like it. It's not that I'm really left unrestricted by wires anymore, because I am. I'm not marvelling at the powers of wireless networking or anything quite so exciting, more marvelling at the idea of the no-wires. I think if I were presented with wireless home networking I may very well wet my pants. And no one wants that, especially with a laptop not-quite resting on my groin. I'd love to try and explain that one to the guys at the Derbyshire Royal Infirmary.

"...?" he would say.

"I, err... Erm...?" I would doubtlessly reply.

"Nevermind, let us not worry about the whys and wherefores, time is off the essence, for we do not have long to save your shrivelled manhood from certain death, and perhaps a certain sibilance to that of 'congealing'!"

And at this point my jaw would sag and my eyes would grow hollow and I would probably be likely to pass out. I don't especially want that to happen, and so I will verily refuse to have anything to do with wireless networking until the novelty of all of this has worn off. It's one thing to grow impotent through the extra heat placed on your testicles, but something entirely other to bring such pain on yourself through gadgetary based incontinence.

That was a very long, fuzzy and roundabout way of saying, "I've got a new laptop, and am thrilled," wasn't it?


Cap'n Spenny said...

Haha, but it was a brilliant way of saying it!


Eevee said...

Oh I have to agree. It's quite marvellous how you always manage to bring a big goofy grin to my face. I swear it had nothing to do with the repeated use of words such as 'testicles' and 'genitals'. I swear. I swear!!!

--If it don't fit, don't put it on a monkey.