Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Everybody needs a cushtie for a pillow!

This is a lie. An awful, insidious misrepresentation of how the world actually is. No on needs a cushtie for a pillow, but some do it anyway. Why, you ask? Because they're AWESOME, that's why.

A cushtie, as you may have gathered, is a device for cushioning your head/face/testicles when the situation provides such necessity. However, more often than not, you will just end up squeezing the darn thing.

However, it's wonderful cushioning effects and intensly satisfying malliability come at a price. In most cases that price is pretty amiable, it's £9.00 for a travel cushtie and a mere £6.50 for the revamped cushtie too.

I, however, did a silly thing.

On going into the local city centre for my eratically regular hair-cutting afair I happened into a quite posh place called "Bennetts", which I just misspelled horribly. In here I found a wide selection of squidgy little bags of fun.

This time, I actually mean "breasts" when I say that.

However, after having found breasts, I happened upon a fair amount of cushtie's, and, I tell you hand on heart, I just went nuts.

I dove around and squidged and squeezed and frolliced with a gaity unheard of to the classy patrons of this shop. Unfortunately, at this point, I did something stupid.

I bought one. To be specific, a "cushtie dreamz", resplendant in its fleecey, removable, and above all machine washable, exterior and lovely erogenous interior. Ok, so it wasn't erogenous, but I couldn't think of a word for "pertaining to having lots of little beads in". I was overjoyed!

Then I got home. I got it out, I looked at the thing and hugged it a bit. It's nice, but very small and quite devoutly smelly. I'm sure it will air out, but for now its too nasty to sleep on. Infact, I rarely plan to sleep on it! I will probably take it to sleepovers in lieu of a real pillow only to have it stolen by attractive women who i cannot say no to. It's not it's underuse that worries me though.I just feel a bit daft for spending £12.99 on a pillow.

Actually, I'm not sure which is more stupid, the fact that I spent £12.99 on a pillow, or that i bought a pillow.

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In other news, shout-outs to Spenny for being awesome and an entertaining writer and maker of shaken milk. Booyah.

2 comments:

Spenny said...

CUSHTIES FOR THE PROVERBIAL WIN.

Eevee said...

Oh dear. Silly silly Joe. I'm not exactly surprised though.

I'm speaking to you from BEYOND THE GRAVE!! Or, from an Internet cafe in Gozo.

Hope you're enjoying your holiday.

A rather homesick Emily