The Days Go By Oh So Slow

*singing*and I'm yours if you want!

*sigh*

What is it about this blistering heat that leaves me so detestably garullous in my activity? If waffling was something you did with the whole of your body rather than just your mouth then that is what I would be doing right now.

WOAH, HOLD THE PHONE.

Half way through writing this I got a little bored and wandered over to Ytmnd.com to watch something hilarious. I found this, which terrified me deeply, and this, which gave me some vague semblance of hope for mankind.

I urge all of you who read this to go out there and fight against scientology (to the point of not being killed horribly) and cast out this evil from the world.

My friend Matt hastens to add that most organised religion is similar to this, but is not quite so piss poor at covering it all up.

I also found this on Your The Man Now Dog [dot] com, the Tori Amos Zebra Sing-Along, which is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

And Eevee, no, it was not ye who christened me thus, it was my good friend Spenniford [Rebecca Spencer]. I am also known in some circles as "Julio", like Mr. Inglesias.

Victoria: miniatures are so totally available [if you make them yourself]. It may be a nice idea to create a "Joe Beaver in your pocket!", along the lines of the "Mr. T in your pocket!" which is available on wider retail. My version would regurgitate such useful phrases as:

"Crikey!"

"Is this infact true, or an elaborate ruse?!"

"You're quite the asshat, you know."

"What's Eff?"

"Dear Mr. Exam writer man, I would have no greater pleasure than knowing that, as a result of writing this, your unholy entrails were gouged out by ravenous badgers and your slowly cooling corpse was then used as a hobo for warmth on a cool November eve."

and

"Monkeh!?"