Thursday, January 11, 2007

Something You Don't Want to Piss Into

Yes, that's right. As you can no doubt discern, you discerning fellows, you, from the title of this entry, this particular blog is about our good friend the rough horizontal movement of air.

Traditionally, Greecian sailors "scare away" what they
consider "bad winds" by taking their uniforms off, flapping
them around and looking as terrifying as possible.

Let me not mislead you, dear reader(s), this is not a scientific rant. Oh no, it's far more of a "pissy Joe" kind of rant. You see, it's pretty windy in merry old York right now. To demonstrate this, the following has been sliced out of a screenshot I took but moments ago!

CAN YOU SEE IT?! Yes! 37mph winds! Southwesternly ones. Not that the southwestern part is all that important I suppose. It just lets you know, if you keep your bearings, in what direction it's likely you'll fall over.

Prior to being awake and realising just what an awful day it is today, I was asleep and knew just how bad today was going to be. Last night I was swanning around the internet (very late last night, I ought to add) thinking that I'd get a nice lie in tomorrow, a nice, enjoyable, fluffy, marshmallowy lie in, when I realised I had to be on campus for 9:30, without fail. My heart shed a tear as I tore my clothes off and leapt into bed that night.

I tend to sleep with the window open most nights too, for all you burglars out there, in a bid to reduce what I like to call "boy-smell".

Boy-smell, as the name would suggest, is the unpleasant, musky funk that inhabits a room after a boy has been in it for any period of time, even mere seconds. Leaving the window open constantly reduces this, as it turns out that fresh air feasts on boy-smell, literally engulfing it and gorging itself into a fat, miasmic lump of satiated breeziness. However, because I left the window open all night, and these winds developed some time at maybe 4 in the morning, I was woken up by the sound of what appeared to be a bronchial elephant swallowing a whistle. Oh yeah, it was raining too, before I forget (as if I could...).

But hey, it's only... 10:30?! I shouldn't be awake right now, or it should atleast be later than that time so that going back to bed wouldn't make me feel so much like the elderly! Hot piss.

Oh screw it, naps were invented for a reason. A perfectly good one, I'm sure. Not facilitated by laziness in the least.

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