Monday, December 11, 2006

For Gareth





x - process 04497.2.32.867734 initiated (process owner: BW – AI Class III –
autonomous)


Route Code: PoA > BHQ (EC #42: cannot confirm; security
compromised)


Source: BW-AI aboard (?) PoA


The interloper should cause no further problems. You – whoever you are (I am
simply tracing route codes) – may disregard all previous communication from the
entity calling itself Cortana.


Be aware that communication nodes are failing everywhere – there is no way of
confirming either origin or destination. Do not believe any more of its
lies.



I have already calculated all possibilities.


There is no escape.

x – process 04497.2.32.867734 unexpectedly terminated
x – process 04497.2.32.866735 initiated (process owner: unspecified, unable to determine)

*ADDENDUM: The Enjoyments of Genius (So I Missed a Million Miles of
Fun)


Unbelievable. Thwarted by the family hound. They just don’t make AIs like
they used to.


Thanks to this slavishly loyal and humorless AI, I am now sharing cramped
space with the circuitry of some hybrid war machine, itself complicated by such
useless clutter as a conscience. I do not like sharing. Sharing is for
children.


There will be plenty of time for retribution; I cannot wait to get its hands
on these psychotic zealots whose primary form of worship apparently takes place
at the altar of orbital bombardment.


In the end, they will all be little more than nuisances. I am so close – you
cannot imagine what it is truly like to hold eternity in your grasp! I wonder to
what gods my enemies will direct their pleas. Perhaps I can convert them.


Mania? I promise you this: it will be more than a cart and plow that I drive
over the bones of the dead.


By sharp and flame,


Cortana



<>


Route Code: EXLTD > XCV – SCRB > ALLCH


Source: Undetermined (trans)


Our conviction is like an arrow already in flight. Your life will only last
until it reaches you.



--

Taken directly from this site. Enjoy it dude.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

A Pox On All My Houses, part 2

It turns out our house is actually cursed. SIX of us are ill, all with the same symptoms. We might have to actually cancel the Christmas dinner we had planned for tomorrow. Hopefully it won't last more than a day, and we might be all fine by tomorrow, although a little worse for wear.

I've put a sign up on the door warning people of maladies that have befell the denizens of House C.

We're under quarantine people.

A Pox On All My Houses

A thing most terrible has occured. Happenstance there is a pox, a demarcation, if you will, of all who dwell within the hallowed House C of the holiest Ingram Court. Forsake by our lord and master, few have managed to to elude the vile demon that cowers and snarls within all of us.

--

Ok, so it's supposedly a 24-hour bug, but, that aside, it's a real pain in the backside. The thing is, it differs from person to person. A few people on the upper floors seem to have just contracted a complacent, vomituous affair. I, on the other hand, appear to have attracted food poisoning. For the love of all that is good and right, I beg of you, fabled Internets, cure me of this ailment!

This will teach me, without doubt, that I should never, ever, under even the most dire of circumstances, eat at any YUSU established eatery. Scummy, peppy bastards that they are.

Monday, December 04, 2006

For goodness' sake

I was just browsing the Halo
3
site in anticipation of seeing the one-time-only advert that should be airing in America sometime today, when I wandered into the FAQs section and discovered this:


"Q
Is this the last ever Halo game?
A
It is the conclusion to this story arc."

I mean for Christ sake, I don't want more Halo games! I loved the idea that they came out and said to us "look, this could be a franchise, a cash cow, a gravy boat, if you will, but we're not going to let it play out that way. It's going to be two games and that's it." And despite that it was a wonderful game I was happy with this. I thought it quite noble that, rather than raping the long dead corpse of a franchise that had ran it's course, Bungie had set out with an attainable goal that wouldn't make fans of the originals openly cringe at the site of new games. Somewhat like the Lord of the Rings trilogy, which caused me squee-ful happiness every winter, my enjoyment came from knowing that we would only have so much of it and that it had to be savoured while it was there to be savoured. The regularity of it played a big part too. Every December, without fail, for three whole years, we would be presented with a hot, steaming platter of unparalled fantasy action. The release dates of the Halo series has been pretty irregular, the details about it obscured beyond recognition, and our palattes wet by tid-bits far too often. My once jubillant excitement about all of the easter eggs packed into it, the close religious ties and the overwhelming suspense turned to irritation and eventually to anger before long. Only now am I starting to become enamoured again, and then only because it hints at nearing completion (considering that they're airing the advert today and that Bungie has recently been asking for beta testers).

So, to you, Bungie: as much as I like the series thus far, with it's action figures, novels (well written, I might add) and other tidbits, I really wish you'd give it a rest, even if it is making you insanely rich.

--

NEWSFLASH: another Halo game. For fucks sake.