Joe, the Ass

Not that I haven't done it in the past, but be prepared for a recount of the most pretentioso thing I have ever done; boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, it's a whopper.

The day previous I asked a friend of mine, who has asked to remain anonymous (wisely, considering the amount of stabbings that I may undergo as a result of posting this), if he fancied getting a coffee and talking over the philosophy passage for this week. He thought it sounded good and we decided between us that it'd be good to go straight after physics the following day, while all the other poor fools who do straight physics were in labs.

As I was walking home from our organisational encounter a thought suddenly happened upon me. I whipped out my phone and let my fingers do the talking:

"Hey dude. About tomorrow, do you fancy being really pretentious and going to starbucks for this philosophy thing?"

"Pretentious? What the hell are you talking about! I love starbucks!"

And thus ended the second step along our road to prickitude.

We headed in and bought our respective coffees. Both were latte's.

We went up stairs and lounged in the compfy seats. Lounged in the compfy seats reading Descartes.

He was wearing cashmere, I was wearing a fitted shirt and tie.

Both of us were well groomed, I was personally sporting emo hair.

At one point we stopped for a while to chat. We talked about podcasting, asian food and "world cinema".

We were appreciating the Jazz playing through the tannoy.

Bear in mind that we're both students.

My friend, after mulling this over to himself for a while, turned to me and said, "Joe, because of today we have both turned into everything we have ever truly hated, and you know what? I love it."

I held up my hand for a high-five.

I then thought to myself if it were possible to ever be more pretentious than that and finally came to the only conclusion that would have made sense. The only way to ever be more pretentious than all of that:

Blogging about it later.

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Actually that's a lie. We spent the time afterwards having lunch at a cocktail bar. We both had Japanese. Don't worry, this was all made better by the fact that we were both drinking. He had a Mojito and I had sake and a Tokyo ice tea.

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Shoot me now and I'll die happy.